November Newsletter | Identity by Design

The question that stopped me in my tracks, exploring identity through the lens of human design, and healthy vs. unhealthy expressions of your G-center

I remember it so vividly.

It was pre-kids, pre–Human Design side hustle, and I was deep in my podcast era (aka listening non-stop). I was driving somewhere when a guest on Jonathan Field’s podcast, The Good Life Project, asked a single question that stopped me cold:

“Who are you without the doing?”

I literally had to pull over and take a few deep breaths.

It was such a simple question — and yet, I had no idea how to answer it.

At the time, I was only just starting to dip my toes into Human Design. But now, knowing I’m a Generator, the impact of that question makes perfect sense.

My whole life, I had defined myself by the doing — how productive, capable, helpful, and overdelivering I could be. I measured my worth by how many boxes I ticked and how many “yeses” I gave to other people’s requests.

So when I was asked who I was without all the things I used to prove my value…I came up blank.

That question sparked an identity crisis of sorts — one that ultimately led me deeper into Human Design, because I wanted to understand who I was designed to be, not just what I was designed to do.

Years later, I love using Human Design to support people in this same kind of identity work — because it offers such clear insight into our essence: the energy we’re here to embody across every role, relationship, and environment. It reveals your legacy — not through what you achieve, but through how you be.

So, who am I without the doing…?

Someone who loves to feel alive. Someone who connects deeply — beyond surface level. Someone who isn’t afraid to challenge people to feel more and dream bigger. Someone who celebrates life for no reason, and finds joy in the smallest moments. Someone who adores raising kids but refuses to lose herself in the process.

All of these parts of me were once overshadowed by the conditioning that told me my identity was my résumé, my demographics, my accolades.

If someone had asked me back then, I’d have said I was an entrepreneur, a former consultant, a Dutchie living in the U.S. — all true, but none of it reflected the unique energetic frequency I’m here to embody.

You may not be hiding behind doing like I was — but you’re probably hiding behind something.

And that’s what we’re exploring this month.

We’re going to gently peel back the layers, remove the masks and labels you’ve unconsciously adopted, and uncover who you are underneath it all. Most importantly, we’ll look at how to use this awareness to make decisions and move through life with more authenticity, clarity, and — of course — alignment.

P.S. If you don’t want to miss my weekly masterclasses and our live Q&A, make sure you’re a paying subscriber.

Last month’s highlights: Halloween festivities, epic sunsets, friend dates, and doing what I love most <3

In this week’s masterclass, I introduce a new way to think about identity — one rooted in energy, not ego.

From an early age, we’re taught to define who we are by the roles we play and the groups we belong to. But through the lens of Human Design, identity is simply what you value + how you make people feel.

While your whole chart shapes this energetic signature, one of the most important places to look is your G-center — the part of your chart that governs your sense of self, love, direction, and purpose.

(If you want to know why, check out last week’s masterclass on the magnetic monopole — the force that literally holds “you” together.)

For those with undefined G-centers, what you value and how you make people feel will be fluid, shifting based on who you’re with and where you are. Your values are influenced by the people you spend time with and the environments you inhabit. You intuit others’ essence and naturally adapt to become the person they need you to be in that moment — often without realizing it.

There’s a way to do this beautifully, without losing yourself — by grounding into your defined centers, the parts of your chart that aren’t swayed by your environment. (We’ll be practicing exactly that this month.)

For those with defined G-centers, your sense of identity is more consistent. Whether you’re in Paris, Minnesota, or the Philippines, you’ll likely prioritize the same things and exude a familiar energy. You are who you are — wherever you go.

Your defined G-center acts as a compass for purpose and direction. It gives you agency over where you’re headed, but only if you’re aligned with your authentic essence (aka, following your strategy and authority) rather than your conditioned one.

Like all binaries in Human Design, neither experience is better — just different. And understanding which one applies to you can be profoundly validating.

Whether your G-center is defined or undefined, there’s always a high and low expression of this energy.

Learning to spot which one you’re embodying can help you gently course-correct toward authenticity.

Two Ways to Embody a Defined G-center

High (healthy) expression of a defined g-center:

• You have clarity around what you value most

• You’re accepting of your whole self, even the messy bits

• You make others feel more at ease being their true selves

• You take intentional, aligned action toward your goals — not in an effort to prove or belong, but in an effort to self-express authentically

• You make decisions from a place of self-love and respect

Low (unhealthy) expression of a defined g-center:

• You’re confused about what matters most to you or what to prioritize

• You change your values, your appearance, and your direction to fit in or be more “lovable”

• You judge yourself or others for not having a clear direction in life

• You hide or suppress parts of yourself in order to meet expectations

• You force outcomes that aren’t aligned with your strategy and authority

• You resist growth because you’re overidentified with the current version of self

Two Ways to Embody an Undefined G-center

High (healthy) expression of an undefined g-center:

• You adapt easily to new environments and pick up on local etiquette, language, fashion, etc.

• You enjoy drawing on — and experimenting with — different versions of yourself to meet the moment

• You intuitively pick up on people’s essence and help guide them to where they need to be in order to thrive

• You’re inclusive and accepting of others, even when they don’t fit the mold

• You intentionally seek out spaces and people that feel good to you

Low (unhealthy) expression of an undefined g-center:

• You feel lost or dependent on someone else’s direction

• You’re constantly “reinventing” yourself, but it feels forced vs. easeful

• You become attached to certain labels or roles that give you a sense of false security

• You allow your desire to “fit in” or be loved override your strategy and authority

• You attach conditions to your lovability: “when I have X, I will be worth of love.”

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Take a moment to notice how you’re currently expressing your G Center — defined or undefined.

This isn’t about judgment; it’s about awareness.

You won’t feel like yourself until you’ve untangled your authentic identity from your conditioned identity. In other words:

“Who are you when you stop trying to be someone — and simply let yourself be?”